🪤 The "just tell me what to do" trap

Quick Note From Alicia…

Well, today’s my bday! We clocked about 30 miles walking around DC this past weekend and had an amazing time. Big thanks to my hubs for the surprise bday trip! 🎉 

And if you’re a fitness or health pro, I decided to put ALL of my programs on a giant 40% off sale to raise money for an incredible animal shelter and dog rescue in Kentucky. They save lives every day, and every purchase you make will help support this charity!

Alicia 🤩

Momentum Monday:

2 mins or less. Kickstart your week with a powerful mindset shift or conversion strategy to elevate your business and life.

As coaches, we’ve likely all had a client or two who desperately wanted us to “just tell them what to do”.

And if we’re being honest?

👉 We wanted to just tell them what to do, too.

The only problem is, just telling someone what to do doesn’t change their thinking. It also doesn’t change their beliefs and it doesn’t change their behavior…

Which likely all contributed to the problem they’re having in the first place.

Sure it is 100% uncomfortable to watch our clients struggle when we know what they should be doing.

But as a coach, our job is to (wait for it)… COACH! Not be an adviser.

In fact, what makes coaching so valuable is that none of us can transform our thinking all on our own.

We need someone who will reflect our words, beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors back to us, so we can see how we’re blocking ourselves from achieving what we want…

And while you can certainly “tell” someone what to do to solve a problem they’re facing, they’ll likely create another one just like it if they don’t change.

That’s why people jump from diet to diet. Business strategy to business strategy. Romantic partner to romantic partner.

Technically, they’re “solving problems”, but because they’re operating from the same mindset they’ve always had, they’re getting the same results — just in different wrappers.

👉 That means as coaches, when we shift from coaching the problem to coaching the person, clients will start to see different outcomes.

To do this, you can:

• Reflect your clients’ words and phrases back to them so they can see their core patterns more clearly

• Use more reflective questions in your coaching conversations (like “What beliefs are influencing this decision?”)

• Notice their body language or shifts in their emotional state (you can do this by saying things like, “I noticed you just perked up a little” or “I sense this is weighing on you”)

If you want to dive deeper into this approach, I highly recommend a book that’s aptly named, Coach the Person, Not the Problem by Marcia Reynolds.

And, if you’re sitting here reading this noticing that you’ve become more of an adviser than a coach, that’s okay!

Keep questioning, keep refining, and keep showing up. This is a marathon, not a sprint!

Make it an amazing day,

Alicia 🤩